My Weight Loss Journey

So I've been thinking for a while about blogging about my journey through weight loss. I know its something a lot of people go through especially as babies come and life gets busy. The pounds seem to just sneak in there for me. So as I've noticed the problem I have tried to correct it, here are some of my thoughts and experiences with weight loss.

At high school grad

Numbers really bother me- I'm not 100% sure why. I always felt like I never fit into the "right" numbers. It definitely does have something to do with my fitness as a youth. I was very active but still never weighed less than 140 pounds in high school (which for my height at the time was outside a normal BMI). For most of my teen years and early adulthood I refused to weigh myself concluding that looking and feeling good were more important than a number on a scale... soo much so that I refused to own one for a long time.

A few months pregnant

After I got married I found that eating with a boy all the time was a hard thing to do. I didn't want to prepare different meals for the two of us yet I just couldn't eat the meat and potatoes type deit that my husband requested all the time. As I result I was already on my way up when we found out we were expecting our first little girl.

After my first pregnancy despite many efforts I never got back down to my true pre-pregnancy weight. I tried not to focus on it too much though and largely assumed that this was just what happens when you have kids. I had heard several women speak that way- I dismissed it as to be expected. So having lost very little weight despite the 4 years between my girls I started pregnancy #2 at almost my max. weight from being pregnant with Abbi. I was however grateful to have concerned midwives who instead of stroking my ego and saying it was all alright expressed concern and came up with an eating plan during pregnancy that would minimize excessive weight gain. It was really hard to explain to people that it was actually healthy for me and baby to be losing weight while pregnant. I got a lot of ," but your not THAT big" or "are you sure you are doing what's best for baby?" etc. While I appreciate that people's comments were motivated by love and concern I caved to them more than I should and still gained nearly 30 pounds while pregnant. My peak weight was 225 pounds... an absolutely horrifying number for me. Pictures of me are kinda hard to find from that time. 

While I still refuse to buy into the scale as a source of really any emotional stimulus, I do now own one as it's hard to be sure that you are losing weight without tracking weight. I also now go through phases of weighing myself compulsively- I think it's just wishful thinking that, "hey maybe I lost a ton of weight that last workout!" I think for me it's just a struggle for the insides of me (my self perception) to match the outsides of me (reality, I guess). See I think I personally suffer from a sort of positive body dismorphia- I actually think I look better than I actually do. My personal image of myself is of someone who is very fit and active with notable muscle tone. I catch glimpses of myself looking kinda flabby and I'm shocked! I'm used to having big thighs because my quads were huge as a skater (figure skated for 12+ years), not because they're chubby! Anyway, realizing my need to fight the flab I've taken to eating better and exercising more.

Despite my general resolve, I have yoyo ed quite a lot over the past year. My current goal weight is 150 which will take me to a normal BMI and back to my real pregnancy self. We'll see how I feel as I get closer to that number, I may feel it possible to push it further or stop a bit shy, we'll see. My healthy range is anywhere from 115 to 152, nearly a 40 pound range gives me lots of wiggle room inside the classification of healthy. I know I'll have to work for or even fight for each and every pound I lose. I have found lots of motivational things form , "nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels" to needing to buy new clothes when I drop significant weight to the empowering feeling of being in control of this aspect of my life. It all helps but the process is long and really tough.

I'd love to know your struggle and what works for you... I'll blog about this more in the future too I'm sure so if there is something specific you want me to rant about let me know!

Crazy or something like it

I just Satmpeded (sp???) for over 12 hours with my 2 girls in 28 degree C weather... and I'm not even that frazzled! I think I deserve a cookie...wait how many calories does stampeding burn???

Tips for Stampede:

• It was $20 for parking, so I recommend taking transit.for parking though the Impark lot with that old yellow house on it was the cheapest and was monitored.
• The entrance line ups were long so I recommend the 2 for $25 deal from Macs 1) because its cheaper and 2) because it saves time at the gate by getting you into the shorter "pass" line.
• Food is outrageously priced so pack a lunch and bring a water bottle (it's worth it to carry it). If you really want to buy food Weadick (sp?) Ville is your best bang for your buck. We spent $3 on a slurpee/ice cream mixture. That's all the money we spent on the grounds.
• Super dogs tends to take a long time to see- we skipped the waiting in line, I personally feel that that show has declined over the years.
• Tail was alright a little slow in the beginning and a little cheesey but no wait and generally entertaining.
• The free facepainters at the kids BMO area were worth the line up today, they did a great job.
• The Saddledome is a great place to cool off or even snooze in a comfy chair if you sit floor level for events during the day 
• Pack medium- not too light that you forget needful items not so heavy that you have to carry a lot. We  brought a stroller, a small cooler, our diaper bag with diaper and a change of baby clothes, a baby carrier (no hoodies required!), blanket, sunscreen, hats and umbrellas (other than umbrellas everything was used).

So if you consider our ticket price, parking and my ice cream it cost our family about $4/hour to be there or $1/person/hour... not horrible. Anyway, if you are headed down to the grounds in the next week enjoy yourself and be safe.  Hopefully some of my tips help!

Cheers and goodnight pictures to come later! I need sleep :D

Welcome

So this is me starting a personal blog and it's my first blog about.... well.... myself. I've blogged about other stuff before and hopefully you are familiar with my photography blog HERE. But alas I've felt the need to rant about myself (sounds rather egocentric, I know) I thought I would indulge myself in ranting to seemingly no one while generally accepting that people, whether they know me well or not, will read this (at least I think they will).

Anyway, so I’ve dubbed myself a bit of a “Jane of All Trades” for a while now and although I don’t actually think I can do everything, I do admit to having more than a few activities in my schedule.

My plan is to write about myself and what I do in hopes of  1) understanding myself better 2) finding and connecting with like-minded people 3) encouraging others to feel good about themselves and all the “trades” that they are up to

Here is a list of what I’m currently up to:

• First and foremost I am a Wife and Mother. I have enjoyed the last 11 months staying at home with my girlies but one way or another that will soon be coming to a close for a season.
• I consider myself a “life long learner” I finished my Master’s degree in Neuroscience… oh you know 11 months ago :P and while I’m not currently formally studying anything I have on more than one occasion found myself still reading journals (*shudders* it’s like I like it)
• I am also at the end stretch of my first med school application cycle (I hope there isn’t a second but the verdict is still out… the waiting IS KILLING me!!!!)
• I have a photography business and while I love maternity and newborn photography I - no shock here- do a little of everything :P I had a shoot a week ago and I’m planning another in a couple weeks
• I strongly support other people (especially women) to be as educated as they can be so I currently have 2 students that I’m tutoring in math 20… they are preparing to KICK butt on the final!
• So many of these bullets deserve a future blog post of their own but this one especially, I’m currently enrolled in driver’s ed… yeehaw!! If all goes well I should be a REAL licensed driver by the end of April. No one should have their class 7 for 8 years :(
• I volunteer as I am invited to at church, helping to organize all the women to visit each other and form sisterly bonds and a new assignment assisting in the Nursery which means teaching/entertaining/playing with around ten 18 month to 3 years olds for 2 hours every Sunday :)
• I’ve also developed a rather messy craft habit in which I shred old clothes and bed linens and crochet rugs and hats out of them… that and beading earring and necklaces… and making hair accessories...ok I love crafting.
• Oh and I own and on semi- regular occasion choose to cloth diaper my infants. 

So here are my answers for people when I give them this information…yes I do sleep. I make most of my family’s meals from scratch. I employ no Sherpa, Nanny or maid (although that would be awesome! I’ve always wanted a Sherpa). My husband and I do like each other and we frequently talk. I love my children and we make time for singing songs and craft projects on a pretty regular basis. I’m not crazy, or a serious perfectionist. I don’t often feel run off my feet or overwhelmed and my elusions of being super human ended several years ago. I’m just me…doing all the stuff I do.

We should talk about all the stuff that I usually do but have cut back on or enjoyed in the past… next time!

So if you are out there reading this, leave me a comment so I don't feel like I'm talking to myself and subscribe to hear more of my stories of being a "Jane of All Trades"