The worst shopping trip ever!

In a break day from working and studying (although I read a chapter tonight) I went out this morning to buy groceries, sounds simple enough right? NOPE!! Any mom knows that shopping ...and well life, is more complicated with children. Usually I do alright, the odd loss of patience, once I decided that it would just be better to go home then brave another planned store, nothing like today.

I was in Walmart for almost 4 hours today :(

Zipporah started off the day at 6am which was not my cup of tea, but I decided, "Hey, if I'm up lets be productive!" By the time we checked out our local whole foods market and got some goodies at the dollar store (Is it sad that my retail therapy involved $2 foam sandals?) it was maybe 10am as we were rolling into Walmart. And while I generally find Walmart sorta evil and generally avoid shopping there I find them a more kid friendly option because: the food is cheaper AND they bag my groceries AND they don't make me feel bad if I didn't bring my own reusable bags.

Anyway so we start off ok until we hit the second isle and Zipporah decides that she's too sleepy to carry on and she screamed at the top of her lungs!!! I've dealt with a screaming child before so I tried to play it cool. I was trying all angles, maybe I could calm her down, maybe we could abandon our cart and leave, maybe she'd just fall asleep. Anytime I thought I should just give up and leave she'd settle long enough for me to think it was doable and go back to my cart. I must have been a sight to watch! I was hushing a 13 month old, herding the 5 year old and constantly gathering my things to leave getting half way out of the store and then heading back. Anyway she fell asleep but only in my arms, despite my efforts to make her a little nest in the cart.

So I recalled seeing  on Pinterest that you can fold a hoodie to make a baby carrier (check out the video!) . So in true, "Jane of All Trades" style I MacGyver-ed a makeshift baby carrier out of my hoodie to continue the grocery trip. The only problem was is that the hoddie carrier would only hold tight if I didn't bend at all which meant that I kinda had to just drop all my groceries into the cart. So here I am clanging canned fruits and veggies into the cart with a baby tied onto me with a hoodie, but don't worry... it gets "better"

So just before we hit the refrigerated foods I felt all warm and wet down the front of me...that's right! I got peed on!!! Somehow in our hoodie entangled stroke of genius, her diaper had gotten all bunchy and performed seriously sub optimally.


My only luck for the day would be that there was a sample kiosk handing out free diapers and wipes (because in an effort not to ALWAYS have my hands to full I left the diaper bag in the car.) I somehow manged to get this hoddie contraption off me and changed her diaper. My shirt wasn't as wet as I had thought it would be and the samples wipes where scented so I used them on her and then on my shirt. Put my hoodie back on like a sane person and continued to shop with a cranky 13 month old who hadn't had a long enough nap and a 5 year old who picked up every other product in the store and tried to put it in our cart. Amazingly the only unplanned purchase Abbi contributed to was a box of blueberry egos about the same size as she is. (I said unplanned not unnoticed)

So here is the good part of the blog! Since Mommy almost had  a nervous breakdown in Walmart we came home and played on the slip and slide for the rest of the afternoon!